


Promise

by sexiudreams (Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson)



Category: EXO (Band), Z.Tao (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional pain, M/M, Memories, Past Relationship(s), Regret, Songfic, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 12:46:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13388091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson/pseuds/sexiudreams
Summary: Z.Tao is singing his new single live, but he should have kept it private. He never should have released it. It leads to too much thinking back.--It's 3am and Promise came on, I'm so sorry





	Promise

_I, I promise to you, I, I promise to you  
  
_ The guilt began building up in Zitao’s stomach as he finished his song, fans and critics watching from all over the world. Watching him on stage, singing his new single live for the first time ever. The words felt foreign on his lips. He should never have released this, he should have kept it private.  
  
 _See you, see you, see you again_

  
The lie in his throat, just like every time he had recorded, sat on a chair, close to the microphone. The lie he had said the last day he was there, the **promise** he had said, whispered in his ear, whilst squeezing his hips. Zitao had sworn it, crossed his heart.   
  
_Love your, love your, love yourself_  
  
Zitao saw the images, just like everyone else, saw the way he was losing weight again. How he would see himself in the mirror in a V-Live or the reality show, looking upset when he stared at his reflection. How he would cringe away from the reflective surfaces of things he cleaned as though they were poisoned. It broke his heart. Zitao couldn’t bear to see him go through that all again.  
  
_I can’t, I can’t take your hand, baby_  
  
The tears welled up this time, lining his eyes with fluid and making it hard to see the cameras as he stood, the same position as he had been the whole song, and his hand clutched the warm metal of the microphone, warmed by his hands. It wasn’t the warmness he wanted, it wasn’t the soft skin of him, fingers tightening around his own, thumb rubbing the back of his hand, a smile as he walked slightly in front. Zitao couldn’t hold his hand this time, if he fell back into the same state if he didn’t start loving himself. He pulled back, missing two Chinese lines, struggling to remember how to sing them.  
  
 _I, I promise to you, I, I promise to you_

  
Zitao had promised, he had always promised. That no matter what he would be there, holding his hand, seeing him every morning when they woke up, groggy, laughing. Zitao had promised that every meal time, he’d be there, helping him to chew and swallow, to reward him with little kisses and keep him strong, to hold him up if Zitao had to. He had promised every promise under the sun – including that he would **come back**.  
  
_I, I promise to you, babe_  
  
It was over, but Zitao wasn’t. His eyes flew open, all too aware of the silence since the music ended, and his eyes found the camera. Something needed to change. He thought about Minseok’s bright, happy smile and cleared his throat, opening his mouth once more. _I, I promise to you, babe, see you again_


End file.
